Why I’ve deleted my social media apps

Finally, after years of wanting to, I’ve done it. I’ve deleted both Facebook and Instagram from my phone as well as a range of other time (and life) -sucking apps.

How did I get to this point?

There is enormous freedom in taking back my mind and being able to be attentive to the world around me. 

Well, I spent a marvellous three and half months in England at the start of the year. The wi-fi was intermittent and we were so busy with the course and ENGAGED IN LIFE, so much so that I simply didn’t have time to waste on scrolling. When I came home, I was filled with a strong sense of motivation and momentum, but I also returned to my pre-trip social media habits. What I observed, was the more time I spent on it, the more depressed I got - comparing myself to others, hearing about things going on in the world and generally wasting hours of my one, wild and precious life on things that just don’t matter.

I heard on a podcast recently, that when we don’t have purpose and meaning in our life, we turn to things like pornography, social media, and endless, pointless trips down the rabbit hole of the internet.

When I returned from England, the meaning and purpose was fresh in my mind, but I quickly became disillusioned by frustrations in my chosen path. I guess I also became a little impatient in trying to recreate the wonderful community of like-minded souls I had there.

Anthropologists say that the ideal community size is about 160, but on social media, our community is in the billions. Even the most social of us struggle to maintain that level of networking and for introverts like me, it’s overwhelming. Emails I find particularly overwhelming because there are so many of them. But since I decided to delete the apps, my senses are more alive; I’m noticing the bird sounds in the morning and evenings, food tastes better and I see things in my surroundings that were always there, but my mind was too distracted to notice. And, most importantly, I’m happier.

As I noted in my previous blog, I am dreaming better and clearer, but I’m also feeling ALIVE again. It sounds strange to say that, but I think perhaps rather than give me a sense of belonging and connection, social media makes me feel isolated. I still have it on my laptop. But I need to make a conscious decision to participate now, rather than habitually falling into it. And scrolling is tedious on the laptop, so I’m only there for authentic connection. Belonging is one of our most important social needs, but I wonder if perhaps we are avoiding real belonging, intimacy, and connection by having an electronic device act as a gatekeeper to our interactions with other people, other beings, and the land beneath our feet.

This week I went to an appointment without my phone. Everyone in the waiting room was fixated on their phones. I imagined they thought I was a weirdo without a device, or maybe they didn’t notice me at all. I certainly don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything by turning my phone into flight mode, leaving it behind, or deleting the apps. Sure, I might miss some events or writing competitions but that’s a small price to pay for being engaged in life fully once again.

I still have podcasts, audiobooks, Spotify, Netflix (even that I’m contemplating deleting), emails, and YouTube. I can’t get away from it all. But with those things, it’s a conscious decision that I will need to make. I’m enjoying being in silence. I’m enjoying hearing the world around me and mostly I’m enjoying the freedom and space the absence of these things have created in and for my mind so I can be a conscious creator of my life.

*This is not a blog to tell you how to live your life, but a reflection on how I choose to live mine.