Five Steps to Overcome Imposter Syndrome
Moving in and out of expansion and contraction is the key
Imposter Syndrome, originally coined as the ‘imposter phenomenon’ in 1978 by two psychologists has become synonymous with a deep fear of success. It sells books, makes good clickbait, and makes people (including myself) feel some sense of explanation for what I’m experiencing, when in fact, it is nothing more than self-doubt and a belief in not being good enough.
Sound familiar?
Everyone doubts themselves at one time or another. And lately I have found myself describing the experience in more esoteric terms: of moving between expansion and contraction of myself in the outer world. Let me explain.
I recently travelled to England to study traditional storytelling (oral) and my major project for the course was called Reclaiming Forgotten Voices (you can watch it here). When I arrived, I was burnt out and broken from years of working in education. I’d never really had deep rest OR taken time to consider my purpose in being. But in storytelling, I knew I found my place. Over the three months, I felt myself expanding my sense of self and taking up space without need for anyone’s permission. For the first time, I was breaking the self-imposed shell that protected me. I felt my self expand into the world and prepare to take flight.
The promotional image for my show, Reclaiming Forgotten Voices.
And I did. I felt myself moving more into an expansive, expanded state. I felt safe with (most of) the people there. I was loved and supported for being me by some wonderful humans who watched my unfolding as I supported them in theirs. Then I flew home and this expanded state continued for a few months.
Then, I found myself contracting back into myself again. I felt my voice wasn’t valid, that nobody would want to hear from me and even yesterday I said some awful things to myself about myself. I tucked myself back into my shell and fell into old habits of feeling like I was not enough and self-doubt and self-deprecation crept into my mind.
Fortunately, I have experienced the expansion. That feeling of taking up space and being on-purpose feels familiar to me now, and I loved it when I was there, despite a fear of the unknown.
So, here are some things that have helped me move from that contraction back into expansion.
A gratitude practice. As a friend recently reminded me, ‘look at all the things you’ve achieved.’ Sometimes we are so busy looking forward, we forget to be mindful of the moment. I try to think of three things I’m grateful for before sleeping.
Acknowledge the contraction. Learning to look within and find the feeling. Are you in contraction or expansion? Is it a time of contraction? Do you need the contraction for now? Much like a slingshot pulls back to propel forward, sometimes the contraction is a necessary space.
Stop comparing to others. Taking social media off my phone has been a game changer to how I perceive myself in relation to others. Everyone has a place, purpose, journey, and timing. I am no different.
Stop viewing it as Imposter Syndrome and call it out for what it is, a confidence issue. This has been big for me. Our world now has labels for everything and while labels can be empowering, they can also keep us stuck in a victim mindset. We are not a victim of imposter syndrome as an external force, but instead, I needed to look within and address the need to fill my inner well of confidence. This will probably always be an issue, so I develop strategies to build and sustain confidence within the seed of who I am.
Remember how short life is. Becoming blindingly aware of my own mortality and how many functional years I have left has led me through a bit of a ‘fuck it’ stage with a ‘what’s the worst that will happen’ mentality. If I don’t do the things I’m dreaming of now, I never will. My shell has protected me for long enough, at some point the bird needs to hatch and chance the dangers of a life in the world.
I’m not saying these things are a magical formula. Far from it. These things are almost daily reminders at the moment while I ready my wings for flight, adjust to the feeling of being unafraid to let myself shine in a world and expand into the most glorious version of myself I can be.
~ Alyssa
*Please note this article is based on my experience only. Seek professional support if you don’t feel you can manage your ‘imposter syndrome’.
